Didn't abuse is not just physical, it's emotional and psychological if I'm
in many cases fund a boyfriend, you know he left to go. Fensom that she's this.
She's that she's no breaking now, you know, he's really messed up her mental,
you know not only that these you could do can affect or so as a girl she can
cheat on the ball and make you feel that you know that also Lisa suicide and
you know, says low self esteem, a false an unhealthy relationship is
characterized by frequent arguments and
abusive the conversation.
Dating vile and this is just horrible
shouldn't accessed.
Kind of dating relationship I want is I can trust my partner you know if we
don't want to do something we don't do it, you know enough with each other to
do with each other want to do a sequel fifty-fifty you know usually I love when
your main objective is simply to make the person that you love happy.
Hi and welcome to this special episode of reality avenues character series,
I'm price and I'm Stacy loving relationships are part of
our lives from the moment, we're born as we grow our love
relationships expand from family to friends.
And then to romantic relationships along the way the love we share
can be true unhealthy or abusive and
unhealthy we don't know the difference or don't know how to receive help
we can find ourselves in a bad situation.
Each year about one for adolescents reported verbal physical
emotional or abuse and their dating relationship and who are they
going to tell if they're being abused a friend one in 3 teens
report knowing a pair who has been physically hurt by his or her partner.
Today you'll learn what dating violence is how to recognize the signs
of healthy versus unhealthy relationships and how to help ourselves
and our friends for in an abusive dating relationship so let's get started
dating abuse does not discriminate.
It does not pass me by because on 16 and not 30.
It does not keep my mail. Black or white.
Straight again. It only candidate on the siren.
But I know that I can her dot the Blues because my braces power.
If I'm a model of respect I really buy
than because I know I can make a difference. I will let
my heart rule on.
Dating violence is a pattern of
emotional verbal or physical abuse
or threat of abuse used by one student and a current or past
dating relationship to exert power and control over another
student.
Victims and abusers can be anybody there people we know and care about
abusing as a learned behavior if the abusers choice to hurt another
by being abused is not a choice, it's something that is done to
you.
Let's watch the story about 2 couples who are friends see if you can recognize
the warning signs of abuse as one relationship becomes unhealthy while
the other stays healthy and truly loving
there's a cost of this weekend. We also go against a plant.
We can make guys, I'm sorry you see we already have plans
remember it being so stupid.
That's just being out.
He looks to be a part of my friends again and 2nd, I would coach
we have plans.
Come on sweetie don't be like that you know I love you.
It better not be and again.
The quintessential to day basis pilot
tax idea of an I 20 guys on the same dozen seats.
Just like some let me know and be honest about it. Hey Ben stop messing
around with my girl man what you part.
In play this is between bank and Sue make a big deal.
Publicly humiliate me like that again and what are you wearing your just
like this day.
Listen here on the shutter mouthy Pasha for you
us and E on them and start dressing right.
How did you like he's always mad at me, I mean I can't do anything right
place a great guy to me, I mean like he got mad at me
today, just because I was winning start well, this can't East
pretty short full, what did you just the way.
I wish I had a guy like like like me that much.
Sorry about the concert and about today, let's look at those
up with play well and he doesn't mean anything he just
has a short temper.
But you know he loves me and he just gets mad at me when
I don't spend time with him.
Should not put up with that is to break up with them know what I love him.
It doesn't mean by that
it was like being treated like there.
I'm worried about Sue and clay.
What are you talking about.
People have been telling me that he's been hurting her in the hallways and
every time you see soon she's with clay and she always looks so sad
and hurt and I think is abusing.
Well we did but I've no clay for years, he's captain of our football
team, everyone likes him.
I know, he's your friend, but I think
you should talk to him
and I'll talk to soon to but I just don't want anyone to get hurt.
But it will make you feel better. I will thank you at this.
You know people are seeing this are you hurting or so you know how women
are Bro you just get a shake some sense into him sometimes and
just stay out of it, I'm your friend, I'm not going to sit here and watch you
hurting their you're a great guy.
It's no biggie man really right.
Just makes me so mad, you know, I do
love or that not love if you love and you would be hurting their
fear and love did not go together. I'm afraid if you keep this
up you're going to go to jail.
I think about and let's go. Soon
so the front.
How are you you know seniors. Okay, I'm
fine I guess you don't seem like you're having fun anymore. We
have so much fun, I I don't like the way play treats you you're
always with him and he's always yelling at you.
Yeah, I mean it's true he just.
He seems like he's always mad at me and I can't do anything right to feel
stupid.
The way treaty was not your fault we should go talk to someone
together OK, thank's maybe l a.
What's her problem.
Hours you are one lucky girl. I wish your father was
so thoughtful.
I need to talk to you.
So what were the early warning signs that this was an unhealthy relationship.
And try to isolate her from her friends.
As the warning signs piled up you could feel the tension in the relationship
price. Many would explode with abusive behavior or bully.
He called her names physically he hurt her and mentally he demeaned
her and threatened her so she was afraid of him all aimed at controlling are
finally after he explodes he falls back
to seducing her to keep her in the relationship and remain in control
with words of devotion, gifts and apologies if he stays
in the relationship she can expect this pattern to repeat over and over
again each time getting worse.
In contrast, how did the healthy couple relate to each other they treated
each other with true love and a healthy relationship you communicate openly
as equals when they disagreed with each other they did so with respect
allow differences of opinion they trusted each other and allowed
freedom gladly.
Did you also notice, which bystanders were truly loving toward their friends
in need we hold a huge amount of power to help or hurt our friends whether
they are using or being abused.
If you have a friend who's being abused do say why you're concerned
specific about incidents listen and believe your friend show
you care by supporting reassuring your friend they're not to blame
point out your friends strengths.
Courage and go with your friend to confide in a trusted adult.
Offer to get information on resources.
Tell a trusted adult if you suspect abuse and your friend is in danger.
Ignore signs of abuse be judgmental make them feel stupid
or shamed force your friend to make a decision or give ultimatums put
yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim's partner.
If you have a friend who is abusing another.
Be specific about what you saw and how it made you feel.
Take a stand that as a friend you won't watch this happen and not say
anything
give them a reality check that they have a lot to lose if they keep this up
urged them to seek help with a trusted adult.
Offer to get information on resources for your friend.
Make them feel ashamed of themselves minimize it or buy into their
excuses.
No matter what your role in abusive relationships, there is help and
resources are available.
After school there is a policy can stating violence you can speak
to any trusted teacher guidance, counselor school, social worker
school resource officer or make an anonymous report to the school
investigative unit.
Write down this phone number.
Some local agencies that are here to help our women and distressed
a confidential shelter with counseling support groups and a 24
hour crisis line.
To reach first Call for help and information and referral hotline.
Nationally there are also a number of places you can call, but remember
if you're in danger always call 911 immediately.
So now that you have the facts will kind of dating relationship do you want for
yourself and what kind of friend you want to be if your friends need help
because they're in an abusive relationship.
You have rights and you can make a difference be a true friend
and enjoy true love.
I'm 17 editor in chief and show can
one in 5 teens been in a serious
relationship report being hit slapped or pushed by their
boyfriend or girlfriend when you're where of dating abuse you can be more
confident in your decisions in every relationship you have right
be aware of dating abuse,
become put it in your decisions watch
learn and tell a friend I have the right to always be to do with
respect. I have the right to be in a healthy relationship. I have the right
to not be her physically or emotionally I have the right to refuse
or affection.
I have the right to have friends or activities apart from my girl. I
have the right to end a relationship a pledge to always to mother fall,
especially I pledge she never had my partner basically probably are mostly
I pledge to not be controlling and
manipulative in my relationship. I pledge to take responsibility
for myself and my actions. And this is never deserved and it's never your fault
because but it air and remember love is respect love is
respect love is respects know
is respect levels are stacked love is respect and love is respect
love is respect love is respect love is
respect love is respect love is respect but please visit
love is respect dot like to sign the digital dating Bill of Rights
make your own statement about teen dating abuse.
Character is the core of our lives in who we choose to be
there's not a spot where characters not.
For more information and resources on dating abuse and violence prevention or
how to build your character please visit the Office of Prevention's website
robber prevention dot org.
These videos have been made possible through funding from the Partnership for
character education initiative.