Just the thought violent sneeze to make a conscious decision within yourself
a personal decision to choose peace and to do good and that
of that.
When you are bullied by someone you actually feel less of yourself
and um I think you need someone to like bring you up a little bit more
and that gets you the strength to go to someone else and be like hey, you know
why I'm getting bullied by this person and any to the something choose peace
and stop violence.
Hi and welcome to this special episode of reality avenues character series,
I'm Stacy.
And I'm Bryce and today we're talking about billing by choosing
peace in stopping violence. We can stop pulling before it escalates and someone
gets seriously hurt so how can we keep ourselves and our friends safe.
It starts with us we hold the power to stop bullying how
with these 3 puzzle pieces we need to know what Boeing is why
we should care and what we can do about it so let's get started.
So how is billing to find Boeing is intentional repeated her full
action against someone who has less power pulling can be verbal physical
or emotional abuse like exclusion rumor, spreading and cyberbullying
we use the acronym grit to help us remember what pulling is
it has to be all 3 are repeated.
Imbalance of power and P purposeful with
the intent to harm another.
Watch and see if you can pick out the are the eye and the P
o n g.
A pink shirt.
That's so, totally does your boyfriend yet about think sure
yes you guys yesterday to stop calling him names. I don't care what you want
nobody likes you come on, let's go.
No we should be treated that way why should we care enough to stop it.
When bully happens we're almost always involve as I did the person doing
the bullying the target or the bystander the majority of us
are bystanders about 80% this is who the
person bowling is trying to impress with their cruelty when bystanders try
to help unlike the bully know their behaviors unwanted the bulling usually
stops within 10 seconds peers are only intervening about 10 to 20%
of the time why so little.
One time when I felt bullying, I didn't know what to do I was scared
and now it's never a fake because I didn't want to hurt and in late want to
like get the other person hate all students don't stop blowing because
maybe they're not brave enough or they just don't want to be that
outside cats.
To stab wound by talking to my friends, how bad it is you know if last season's
but I would tell him don't do this because of this and that you know that
I'm known as not worth it, you know why trying to solve a problem by making of
the problem when I see bullying. I don't rush into that situation
I used well now I would just tell an adult find an adult
that's closest to me that my son is the one has the power to go to someone
instead of like going league a fight fight fight go to someone if your device
and go to someone go to not ago to teach or get your mom someone that can back
you up because distinct that the numbers when you see someone had an argument
I see some a group of kids, you know Reagan the fight here on this I think
Phi Phi Phi you're egging him on to fight what if you want to say OK God
does not do this and then there are other friends, you know to to it is not
cool. But that couple is not do this bystander fears are almost always
base and missed, let's replace them with the facts.
Myth number one will retaliate and all become the next target.
Truth if I do nothing the bullying and creases and I'm more likely to get.
Or number 2 if I try to help it will get worse.
The help is wanted help when piers intervene the billing stops within
10 seconds most of the time.
Number 3, I can't prove the bulling happened.
Truth is not about proving for punishment but helping in stopping the
abuse.
I can't trust authority figures truth.
There's always one adult I can trust billing rates almost always
decrease with effective adult intervention.
Myth number 5 ignore bowling and it will go away.
Truth link will continue to escalate ignored.
Boy is someone else's responsibility truth. I'm part of the problem
and the solution I hold the power to choose peace and stop violence.
Target's need to learn to stand up for themselves and deal with the situation
truth. Targets are usually younger are physically smaller than their attackers.
So they can deal with the situation alone.
There's no blood it's not serious truth emotional bullying is often
more damaging than physical bullying.
Teachers know what bullying is happening. I don't need to tell anyone
truth bowling can be subtle and often happens out of the teachers
cite the need your help to know so they can stop it.
Let's look a little closer at the fear of losing friends because no one will
like you if you intervene you look like the free kick.
You're not going to date yourself, good luck finding a boyfriend looking like
that.
They're pretty and your mom is just as much a free as you live.
Here you see a student who was afraid and didn't help but watch again as this
student does help in a simple non-confrontational way.
Which student would you like to hang out with who has the most character,
the brave one of course, the fact is students respect and prefer to
be friends with the student who helps.
Targets of bullying suffer both short and long-term damage like
missing school out of fear trouble studying bad grades, depression
and thoughts of revenge and suicide.
But did you know that the damage to bystanders. Israel and last 2
bystanders who don't intervene feel fear
guilt shame and helplessness they also
lose faith in the helpfulness of adults school connectedness hope
and if the thief or others.
So what's the best way to intervene jumping in the middle of bullying in
getting hurt is a common fear and never do it if it isn't safe.
That's only one way to help we can intervene directly or indirectly.
It situation calls for different approach so find your own style
so here are some direct interventions
distract say the target pay can you help me with something
over here.
If you know the bully later talked to her alone and share how others may be
seeing her behavior neng or hunger.
If you know a bystander encouraging the pulling up talk to her later about
how she's making a bad situation worse and that isn't the kind of person you
think she is.
Here are some indirect interventions speak to the target later say hi
show respect invite them to lunch, introduce them to your friends
are offered to walk with them between classes get help by making an anonymous
report a lot of students fear that reporting is snatching but
it's not reporting is telling its done to help snitching is
tackling does he get someone in trouble over silly issues are things you could
have handled yourself.
Is we tell to help protect and keep others from harm. Heroes
tell.
Here's the perfect example, it's 2 in the morning in your neighbor sees a man
calling into your bedroom window.
If you want to call the police and tell them our closes blinds and say
not my problem, I'm no snitch.
Yeah, I'm doing your friends, any favors by letting them learn to abuse others.
The fact is students who bully are much more likely to drop out of school
have criminal charges have substance abuse issues and commit family
violence as adults.
If no one helps them learn healthy ways to meet their need for power. They will
continually abuse others even though they are hurting themselves,
bullying can be reduced, but it will never completely go away
prepare yourself for the day, someone says or does something unkind if
you have a one-liner ready you feel more confident. He can practice in the nearby
yourself with a friend or even your parents use the acronym safer
to remember the best ways to respond when approached by bowling we want to
stand positive and strong used body language like eye contact
stand tall and stay calm. Use I statements like I don't
like being called names I want you to stop
and then if they continue back off you can even agree by sticking to the
facts. Yes, I have glasses.
Okay you've been the boy faced I you're ugly.
OK and many use stand strong and positive so I'm beautiful and I want
you to stop great.
Avoid the situation avoid places times people who are dangerous
don't be alone make an excuse and exit have approached
was there any people or places that we should avoid.
I'm probably once listed together and if one of us has to go somewhere well asked
to sit with that.
Sounds good find support the best comeback is to ignore
their words and go to support of friends or adults.
And also we can talk to me, especially this Wallace,
she's always there for us to ship a list.
Express your feelings, talk to those who can support you and support yourself
with positive messages. The opposite of what is being said.
I'm smart wonderful a really good friend and I deserve to be treated with
respect.
And redirect change the subject distract the bully by asking
an unrelated question such as what time is lunch.
You can even use humor that your style humorous who maybe change the
subject by saying something like you know what's for lunch or even a joke.
You know the thing I study just my friend he makes the right guy turn
left and speech fix slow down.
Now you know what bullying is why we should care about it and how to safely
intervene in respond.
A final word to those who are being bullied remember it's never your fault
and you don't deserve it if it happens or if you feel threatened make
sure to report it to your parents, a trusted teacher or your principal
otherwise it will get worse.
If you're pulling others, ask yourself why is it for power
and popularity, how can you meet these needs in a positive way
use your strengths and talents to help not hurt others if
you're unsure of your motivations or how to change reach out your school
counselor you'll be glad you did.
When the rest of us bystanders. But together we can accomplish great things
we all hold the power to choose peace and stop violence. Thanks for joining
us and creating the safer more respectful school.
We all want we had the power, I hold the power to change
the well and stop bullying.
I had the power to stop violence. I one piece
I can stop billing by being an agent of change it. I
show people few my actions that it's possible the stand up to the ones
that think less of a stunt he can get.
Character is the core of our lives and who we choose to be there is not
a spot where characters, not.
This time on reality avenues character series.
For more information and resources on bullying and violence prevention or how
to build your character please visit the Office of Prevention's website Broward
prevention dot org. These videos have been made possible through funding
from the Partnership for character education initiative.