I feel self injury and is very serious.
We cannot take something like that for granted people felt anger
when have low self-esteem when there are other of things going on in their
life. They can't control and they decide
that they need lack take it out in some way and that's the way they feel
they do. They don't forgive themselves and maybe that
day is all the and of themselves as no one else.
Helping thing of the we all a beautiful why India, so
just to give yourself move on to better the next.
Welcome to reality been my name is Pat and tolerant and I'm Amy would
today show topic is found injury of the funding that we feel very passionately
about in the next really important because so many people are experiencing
that today not injury and you can show infliction of harm
onto one's own body. It could be putting their for 2 cutters
it could be concerning bruising and it's
basically the physical manifestation of
internal pain unfortunately, is highly the fun of that people
used to look for it would be a 4th final on at the crazy even seeking
attention and that's not the case.
We're going to get this question of the students today and they're going to talk
about the World Cup injuries played in their lives.
That's a nice is basically an expression of what your feel
on the inside the person doesn't know how to like express the pain so
it's like a scream for help that you know you want to show the world and this
is what I'm felling but I don't know how to say it some kind of crisis that you
can feel like you know the pain of feeling. I agree
with you on that one because by people
thinking as someone that cut themselves all they want to know why they
want to come so they're really just an like. I did this because I want you to
notice, I need some help right now right. No one is there for me I want you
to see this I want you to know how I'm feeling. Yeah, and
targets miss can secure the intent or so by calling coming to rest
in but not everyone wants you have to just really get asking for help they
want to know the same right.
You know self-injury is a way of coping. You know, and then some has
emotional issues it's more painful than the physical pains out
they here to do I don't even know of all
cutters do it necessarily to show people maybe some of them do it just
for themselves because it's self-injury and they do it to cope with themselves
the event that anything that would rather not show people what they're
like to say that writing and I just like a way that they need to express himself
thing they did buy her things out and I feel you're asking for help,
but it becomes a problem because you know it's embarrassing because
people wouldn't understand it so you don't really ask for help it you want to
but this is a way to buy you are really
not that all his people who don't
themselves they work at it as a total different situation from in part
it and that's what I think scares people had to cut themselves because they feel
like they talk to someone that they're going to love that they're going to love
that like as a total different person because the people who don't have any
experience they don't understand where the person is coming from.
Feel like you're spinning out of control. You know any tissue so
badly, you know want to be in control now the situation
you want to be able to control how you feel.
Down you know from my
personal experience, you know that his from put me in a place where
it is now. Now where ages and you
know relieve anxiety, you know one thing.
It helps you know, but it was not good.
Scattering
ends up hurting them like that around or
tell us it isn't the only proven
you know its relieving pain through cutting its of injuries
and get them, you know you get addicted to the hard. That's like that that's
what I think that the scary thing about it because it's like when you feel like
you have to hurt years on I just feel bad happened exactly easy
can. You sit in a corner and you shake and not know what to do when
you media thing that you just you know, qaida yourself might have that I would
even be as I got to take a look at the love that I have like one might hearings
and I had like the ones that peers with and have a shot back and I just feel
like I was like job and I got my doing.
It just like can I came like so prone to doing it, I would even realize I was
doing it to was are back.
I think another reason why people do it because it's so easy if you don't
have to go to a drug area of the Gulf of Mexico to pick up some Hills pretty
cheap by into kitchens that.
And easily could easily hide it you can easily hide the fact that
you're on cocaine at for weeks and weeks you can easily hide that because
you people can see it's easy to do and you can get things like you can easily
hide that's right so common, it's also some because there is no
stereotype or like look to acquire and there is not you know
it's not going to be here. You know I this is all their own
all-black they would depress thing you know that the press probably that that
means they cut its know it can be someone that was the brightest colors as
the biggest my absolute and they just wear long sleeves, you
know for a reason they're covering up their cuts there there is no
look to account.
I think that one of the things that you can do is you know you
had a friend that cuts both out for herself is not
focus so much on
what the person was doing of late not focus on the cutting but what's
causing that not not really the act of
putting just write what can help prevent that but just don't even really bring
up the words cutting or injury and no depression just kind of just talk to
everything.
If a person comes to you. You know, says hey I need help on
the show you you know whether the don't
freak out you know because that will just make them you
know all I need a big news day, you know, I'll never counted on again
and show them the wrong thing for people to put themselves it takes
a lot of courage to open up to someone because for them, it's like their
last option, you know they I it's really they're scared themselves,
I mean knowing it like I was scared like I wasn't intentionally trying to tell
myself but for many times has someone especially someone who's your best
friend you don't want them to looking different you still want them as a best
friend.
You know, I've had friends that found out about it and like they just look at
me as a whole different president and that hurts because somebody you care so
much about we'll see you in a total different in a way just because
you feel like so empty inside it like their herds to
know that like you can't go to act president just makes things worse of
someone comes to you wanting to talk just like listen and be there but
I mean I can they're still human a Softbank you can't look
at different.
I don't think of cutters going to it it
right away that they knew how they're going to go on. And I think
that first time they get a lot of doing
it or not to say that the first time they do it. I think is the time
they need help that's what I was thinking that like I thought
when I was thinking about it, I was thinking well when it gets to the point
where they don't even know that they're doing it until it's done that they need
help. But that's I think too
far I think you see you notice, someone starting to do that and they need help
before that moment, but you won't escalate you feel like you have to talk
to someone your guidance kept their guns and I know one of the friends, gossip I
wish he went to the guy's got to cry about me and like that's when I realized
you know, I'm not only hurting myself, I'm hurting people around him. What
if they will actually say I don't need help not your problem stab and
you know when you hear that that's where you know why
you know you have to say you know what it's obviously very very serious,
I'm not that that this time not responsible for them, they're
responsible for themselves and they have to realize that so I need to
go. And tell someone who can find out.
Krista made a powerful point and so the House Andrew can become just like an
addiction often times that is so I can quit and find itself unable
to and what about the Sandusky to be associated with that whole injury is
too.
And and the fact that most addictions you develop a tolerance so without
injury you also develop a times the first cut its not to Steven it's not
as frequent, but as time goes on you need to cut deeper and more often to get
that same sense of relief just this week about it affect anyone
of any age and any kind of appearance with for an excellent point
illustrated by Jackie was 28 and Taylor
whose 15 they share their stories of self-injury with us.
I personally I.
Use to cuts and burn and it myself
right, I'm not myself up against the wall just about anything
to calm myself, I guess
my purpose was is I was so full emotional and I hurt so bad
on the inside that I didn't know how to help other people see have
that I hurt and so if I may to visual on the outside than it would
also say that it's OK for me to feel bad because now I physically hurt instead of
just notionally her and it also gave the cue to the people around me
that something was wrong even though most the time I would hide its have but
you know if they caught it or whatever they would now that I hurt and so they
could help myself and really was at.
I cut my wrists and my legs and pretty
much any part of my body. I started the
company logs as you can for my arms and people are facing
so that I would I hurt myself because I
was mad, I wasn't in control, I felt like I can control
things if someone was upset with me I would cut and I felt like I can prove.
It's hurting yourself.
When you don't know what else to do.
I cut for probably 3 or 4 years
consecutively. A lot of the time I would cut there is
different periods while the CAC price today
where maybe I would cut one 70 to win and that's what
good was. I mean, yeah.
I felt like I couldn't breathe. I said this before, but I would feel like I
literally found so down to say I wish I'd you're a better
way that I literally felt like someone was holding her head under water,
I was Downing and if I didn't cut I why
Winfrey like I could it was awful I
I have no control over myself.
A lot of people think you're crazy commute.
They think you're covering crazy like
something's wrong or had or Mike,
why would you do to act stupid, but that
I can control it wasn't something that I
had control over I was normal, I have tons of friends
had nothing to do with. It's just
something that was a part of me that I couldn't handle.
I realize that was a problem when it was an every day thing it's like I looked
forward to it every day and I would have marched up and down my arms
and and I couldn't go to sleep at night unless I did
something to myself.
I realize cutting was a problem for me when it was brought to my attention by
my facts. I had stars which you can still see the
ones car that I'm probably talking about the most from
I would just really cut back on and it was of course a every guy
or I can remember going history every ball I would be even look at
that because just because I was upset in general in
I get frustrated something like a cut and my friends would like what he brings
us back I did it myself of no problem when they said something to me
and they need it such a big deal I realized it was a big deal.
Well the short term consequences obviously you had the marks
and the long-term consequences is you have scars. That's something that I
deal with as I have scars all over my arms and so it's hard
for me even today, even though I've stopped to put on a bathing suit are
worth at 10 caught in front of my friends because you see the scars and
sometimes they don't notice that sometimes they do and they pointed out
and then you have to explain it right now because you can't really ignore it
has kind of obvious so it sticks with you for ever, I mean, I'm hoping the
scars will eventually fade a little which I'm sure they do, but they'll
always be there and you always know that they're there and so it's always
a reminder of those bad times that you had before.
Well, the biggest long-term consequence
which I I don't know this. But of course
going to the beach I have I have big stocks.
Star summit next government, I don't think anything of it. But of course
someone will say what is that or my arms not so much, but
it's my likes now and the rest of my life there's some
Colette I'm gonna had this caucus that's probably Lou.
One big noticeable one other one is that.
It's something not have to deal with like I stopped cutting for
months on end and something bad happened
in front of like a sweat I I caught
I wasn't going back and I had I don't cut now, I probably won't
but I can't say honestly I may never come back
because they might happen. I don't think I well I think on strong and
I know I'm strong but it's always there.
At the time I didn't have very good support system. My family wasn't
a good support system and where I was living in a really didn't have the help
that I needed at that time.
And so it's this and I would go to the e r or whatever and they wouldn't
help make them with a snake kind of man instead and so that never help that is
needed West and for me I just had to find the place that was safe
for me and find the place that I can get the help that I needed and.
I went to a few therapists I went to my
first one and she threatened me new signs for if you cut and can't come to
you either have to be settling can come back so I tell my client to have
been cutting and I didn't go back even though I had because I was scared I was
going to take away.
And it's not something you want course like you want to take care of what you
don't want back on that front with the hitting.
Just talking about my parents and I felt like I was talking to a friend and
almost what I wanted was somebody that I mean I didn't get back on my last post
I guess they're const who I've had.
He was my last at this event to I cut
one since I saw him
and that was a while ago, I haven't seen him for a while
and that he really helped me.
Through an expense I don't use it anymore. But I do think
about it and I think it's something that you always think about as like their
first coping mechanism, but I just think
it when I was going through it. I took it day by day when I would have that
feeling to cut or to hurt myself I would tell myself you know what I'm not
going to do it tonight, but if I really want to do it a mile I can do it
tomorrow and I just did a lot of things to keep my hands busy, I mean I learned
how to curse a Signet puzzles whatever
coloring whatever just to keep my hands busy to keep myself safe at night
and I wasn't afraid to call and ask for help from my team that I had
to work with the last grand their act if I knew I couldn't handle it. I suspect
the House so that it wouldn't be an issue.
Hurting yourself and your body
is not the think a deal they always say
respective idling and Ike whatever on a good attack to do what you want
that's fine but hurting yourself and most of the Times because of others
as I can so you don't deserve that nobody deserves to hurt
themselves. It's not there when you're 40 years old you're going to see
it right now you may not see it that nobody deserves to have to hurt,
especially hurt themselves.
If you're going through this this there's always hope there's always a way
that things and it just happens that the your choice, it's either you Tuesday
are you choose to 10's and you can ask for help but the people that help you
can't fix it. So you have to be motivated within yourself to want
something different and so want something better and I believe anybody
can say anything they want about themselves and if you don't like
that or if it's something you know you want to change its up to you and ensure
choice.
There's hope for anyone involved in.
I got out of it I was and so look
point well, I thought about some time.
Talk to someone.
I think there's there's definitely hope talk to somebody.
I'm in town I feel
because if you're cutting there's a
problem maybe like there's something that that could be fixed,
it's not the end of the world everything will be OK and counting
is under way to handle it.
I and that's when Jackie and still ahead this yet what stood out to me
and is what they had in common than a myth the permanent scarring
and the feeling of out of control as well, yes and also the fact that what
really turned their lives around was getting help and not just in how that
could help because there are definite do's and don'ts if you're
professional a parent or friend, if you want to help someone who has
something to a problem don't issue ultimatums don't take
it personally and don't try to force a pass.
That they won't do it anymore. You be
supported be a good listener and for
alternative behaviors we're going to go now to Susan Kleinman
an expert in your field and hear more about self-injury.
South injury is a method that
that one percent of our population uses
in lieu of expressing their feelings.
The self in turn has to do with hurting oneself or harming oneself
usually because it feels unsafe for the
person to experience and express feelings any other
way.
France and parents might want to 10 keen-eyed yes,
their child is a has changed the way
they dress and begun to wear layers of clothing,
a clothing that covers all their body parts
doing things that might cover up bruises
are even moving differently because of think through this themselves
are kept themselves in an area that maybe you can
see it's not visible to you they may
feel it and then have to move differently because of that
so many times you see in the person could be a signal
that something is wrong um I would also
encourage friends and family too Trost their hunch. This.
Many people who are having difficulties and are what the cow Alexa
finding it unable to express themselves
with words or to share with anyone what's really wrong
may tend to self harm as a way
of relieving the pressure they feel it's kind of like a pressure cooker
or a lid on something you take it off and everything points out
or the person feels relief many people
who self-harm feel empty avoid a
ceilings and they believe that thing
that the self insuring that thing too is a way that they feel
released because they conceal something can they can feel pain.
The greatest prevention for self-harm is noticing that it's
going on with the per cent and and helping them get professional
help it's almost out just a sign self
harm us a sign that something is seriously wrong. It's not the time
to criticize or to blame or to put more
pressure on the person, it's the time to be a good friend, it's
the time to be empathic and it's the time to also seek professional
assistance it's a sign that something's going on it's really difficult
for the person. It's often the sign and
eating disorder me I care soon and it
could also bring a sign that something else is happening such as emotional
physical or abuse.
I would like you to have hope that if you are self-harming
and that you can find other ways to help
yourself feel pressure that are healthier and that don't give you the
illusion that you're in control when you're not there's a lot of help and a
lot of ways that you can find help.
Susan climate points about South injury being about emotion
and the illusion of control were act.
Some injury is that a sign that it's time to get help
for yourself or for someone you care about and any one
of the things that we fail to address when dealing with self-injury is
identified that some sort of pain was not enough and
you have them on it and have to come on and I want to read them enough and her
on the face. Absolutely the foundation
of self-injury is this trauma and then it's maintained by the Shane
to hear what others will judge you and it becomes this vicious
cycle. And it just has to be stopped and you and you need to get Howard,
let's hear now from our real expert. Final thought.
So the younger viewers heading is a very serious and dangerous issue if
you're currently cutting for even thinking about doing it for stock know
that you're not the only one people do this to these kind of things but
if you feel the need to act to harm your body in any way shape or form
in order to feel better when you talk to someone whether it's your best friend
a teacher at times concert even her parents speak out.
Whatever you do I understand you're going to be so afraid that your child
might not want to be here. But that's not always the case
educate yourself before you start, not
intentionally judge for a child that's what they fear most.
Those countries that are watching now it's not worth it.
It may seem like to thank you at the moment. But sometimes you have to
look into the future. I don't regret
things but it still
it's kind of it's hurtful and now that I did that to myself and that I have to
live with the scars for the rest of my life and I may not be able to
wear what I want to wear not necessarily
because I can pretty much do anything but I just can't wear what I want to
wear and always self-conscious about the skies and so it sticks
with you for life.
For 9 years that I've said going back.
I'm sorry for you because I know how it feels and and you might feel
down that are not.
It will be OK when might happen today, it will be okay.
For further information or if you would care to attend the works out about this
topic or any other shows please contact the Office of prevention
programs at 754-321-2568
or go to our website at Broward prevention dot org.